March 24, 2020
Anyone reading this is no stranger to the entire world’s unbelievable state of chaos caused by the Coronavirus-or formally known as COVID-19, so there is no need for me to explain. I will say though, that I’ve spent most of today in a terrible headspace, with my anxiety soaring to incredible heights. I’m not even sure how to organize my thoughts into comprehensible sentences, so if you’re reading this bare with me.
In January the Coronavirus had just barely made news, coming out of China, and even landing a case in our state. But never would I have imagined the turn of events that have taken place. Thousands of people have died, many many more are sick, people everywhere are unknowingly carrying, contracting, and spreading this virus, and inevitably our hospitals and healthcare workers are struggling to keep up everywhere in the world. The numbers are rising so quickly, the entire world is experiencing a quarantine or shut down of some sort, and no living person has ever experienced anything like this. So many people are losing their jobs, so many people are losing their family members, so many people are losing their lives, and many people are forced to put their own lives at risk everyday in order to save the lives of others. And as a result of all of this, my anxiety is through the roof.
On so many levels I am trying to remain positive; Trying to imagine how changed my life, and the way me and my family live after this will look. I’m trying to have faith that the seemingly tiny amount of time our state and a few others are on a shut down for, will actually make a difference significant enough that our lives will resume as normal in just a few short weeks. I keep trying to imagine laughing about how crazy the “coronacation” was, or telling my daughter and maybe any other future children about experiencing something like this in my lifetime….But on another level, my mind keeps taking me to the reality of how heavy all of this really is. I keep thinking about what will happen if doctors and nurses start contracting this virus themselves, and can no longer care for the already overwhelmingly large numbers of sick patients at the hospitals. I think about all of the people currently hospitalized that can’t have their families in the room, and how terrifying that must be for them. I keep thinking about how many people I saw at the supermarket without gloves or masks to protect themselves, and how simply reckless that is. I think about our next door neighbors and so many other women that are expecting a baby any day now, and how scary that must be for them to not know what type of care they will receive when they get there- not to mention how devastating it must be for them to not be able to allow family to visit their fragile new baby once it arrives. All of this has been playing over and over and over again all. Day. Long. But tomorrow I must do better.
Tomorrow I will go for a run to clear up some headspace. Tomorrow I will plan to complete a project, and then prioritize said project. Tomorrow I will make sure to keep our waddler busy and happy. Tomorrow I will remain positive and hope it leaks over onto my wife, too. Tomorrow I will get outside, if only just for a 20 minute walk. I will do all of these things, because these are the only things I can control right now, and I have decided these are the things I will focus on from here. I will only watch a little bit of the news each day to help prevent the growing anxiety, and I will do whatever it takes to stay happy, healthy, and busy for me and my family. I hope you all can do that, too :). What are some ways you and your family are staying healthy, happy, and distracted? I’d love to hear them! Stay safe!